Alls well that ends well

ACT IV

SCENE I. Without the Florentine camp.

Enter Second French Lord, with five or six other Soldiers in ambush

Second Lord

He can come no other way but by this hedge-corner.

When you sally upon him, speak what terrible

language you will: though you understand it not

yourselves, no matter, for we must not seem to

understand him, unless some one among us whom we

must produce for an interpreter.

First Soldier

Good captain, let me be the interpreter.

Second Lord

Art not acquainted with him? knows he not thy voice?

First Soldier

No, sir, I warrant you.

Second Lord

But what linsey-woolsey hast thou to speak to us again?

First Soldier

E'en such as you speak to me.

Second Lord

He must think us some band of strangers i' the

adversary's entertainment. Now he hath a smack of

all neighbouring languages, therefore we must every

one be a man of his own fancy, not to know what we

speak one to another, so we seem to know, is to

know straight our purpose: choughs' language,

gabble enough, and good enough. As for you,

interpreter, you must seem very politic. But couch,

ho! here he comes, to beguile two hours in a sleep,

and then to return and swear the lies he forges.

Enter PAROLLES

PAROLLES

Ten o'clock: within these three hours 'twill be

time enough to go home. What shall I say I have

done? It must be a very plausive invention that

carries it: they begin to smoke me, and disgraces

have of late knocked too often at my door. I find

my tongue is too foolhardy, but my heart hath the

fear of Mars before it and of his creatures, not

daring the reports of my tongue.

Second Lord

This is the first truth that e'er thine own tongue

was guilty of.

PAROLLES

What the devil should move me to undertake the

recovery of this drum, being not ignorant of the

impossibility, and knowing I had no such purpose? I

must give myself some hurts, and say I got them in

exploit: yet slight ones will not carry it, they

will say, 'Came you off with so little?' and great

ones I dare not give. Wherefore, what's the

instance? Tongue, I must put you into a

butter-woman's mouth and buy myself another of

Bajazet's mule, if you prattle me into these perils.

Second Lord

Is it possible he should know what he is, and be

that he is?

PAROLLES

I would the cutting of my garments would serve the

turn, or the breaking of my Spanish sword.

Second Lord

We cannot afford you so.

PAROLLES

Or the baring of my beard, and to say it was in

stratagem.

Second Lord

'Twould not do.

PAROLLES

Or to drown my clothes, and say I was stripped.

Second Lord

Hardly serve.

PAROLLES

Though I swore I leaped from the window of the citadel.

Second Lord

How deep?

PAROLLES

Thirty fathom.

Second Lord

Three great oaths would scarce make that be believed.

PAROLLES

I would I had any drum of the enemy's: I would swear

I recovered it.

Second Lord

You shall hear one anon.

PAROLLES

A drum now of the enemy's,--

Alarum within

Second Lord

Throca movousus, cargo, cargo, cargo.

All

Cargo, cargo, cargo, villiando par corbo, cargo.

PAROLLES

O, ransom, ransom! do not hide mine eyes.

They seize and blindfold him

First Soldier

Boskos thromuldo boskos.

PAROLLES

I know you are the Muskos' regiment:

And I shall lose my life for want of language,

If there be here German, or Dane, low Dutch,

Italian, or French, let him speak to me, I'll

Discover that which shall undo the Florentine.

First Soldier

Boskos vauvado: I understand thee, and can speak

thy tongue. Kerely bonto, sir, betake thee to thy

faith, for seventeen poniards are at thy bosom.

PAROLLES

O!

First Soldier

O, pray, pray, pray! Manka revania dulche.

Second Lord

Oscorbidulchos volivorco.

First Soldier

The general is content to spare thee yet,

And, hoodwink'd as thou art, will lead thee on

To gather from thee: haply thou mayst inform

Something to save thy life.

PAROLLES

O, let me live!

And all the secrets of our camp I'll show,

Their force, their purposes, nay, I'll speak that

Which you will wonder at.

First Soldier

But wilt thou faithfully?

PAROLLES

If I do not, damn me.

First Soldier

Acordo linta.

Come on, thou art granted space.

Exit, with PAROLLES guarded. A short alarum within

Second Lord

Go, tell the Count Rousillon, and my brother,

We have caught the woodcock, and will keep him muffled

Till we do hear from them.

Second Soldier

Captain, I will.

Second Lord

A' will betray us all unto ourselves:

Inform on that.

Second Soldier

So I will, sir.

Second Lord

Till then I'll keep him dark and safely lock'd.

Exeunt

SCENE II. Florence. The Widow's house.

Enter BERTRAM and DIANA

BERTRAM

They told me that your name was Fontibell.

DIANA

No, my good lord, Diana.

BERTRAM

Titled goddess,

And worth it, with addition! But, fair soul,

In your fine frame hath love no quality?

If quick fire of youth light not your mind,

You are no maiden, but a monument:

When you are dead, you should be such a one

As you are now, for you are cold and stem,

And now you should be as your mother was

When your sweet self was got.

DIANA

She then was honest.

BERTRAM

So should you be.

DIANA

No:

My mother did but duty, such, my lord,

As you owe to your wife.

BERTRAM

No more o' that,

I prithee, do not strive against my vows:

I was compell'd to her, but I love thee

By love's own sweet constraint, and will for ever

Do thee all rights of service.

DIANA

Ay, so you serve us

Till we serve you, but when you have our roses,

You barely leave our thorns to prick ourselves

And mock us with our bareness.

BERTRAM

How have I sworn!

DIANA

'Tis not the many oaths that makes the truth,

But the plain single vow that is vow'd true.

What is not holy, that we swear not by,

But take the High'st to witness: then, pray you, tell me,

If I should swear by God's great attributes,

I loved you dearly, would you believe my oaths,

When I did love you ill? This has no holding,

To swear by him whom I protest to love,

That I will work against him: therefore your oaths

Are words and poor conditions, but unseal'd,

At least in my opinion.

BERTRAM

Change it, change it,

Be not so holy-cruel: love is holy,

And my integrity ne'er knew the crafts

That you do charge men with. Stand no more off,

But give thyself unto my sick desires,

Who then recover: say thou art mine, and ever

My love as it begins shall so persever.

DIANA

I see that men make ropes in such a scarre

That we'll forsake ourselves. Give me that ring.

BERTRAM

I'll lend it thee, my dear, but have no power

To give it from me.

DIANA

Will you not, my lord?

BERTRAM

It is an honour 'longing to our house,

Bequeathed down from many ancestors,

Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world

In me to lose.

DIANA

Mine honour's such a ring:

My chastity's the jewel of our house,

Bequeathed down from many ancestors,

Which were the greatest obloquy i' the world

In me to lose: thus your own proper wisdom

Brings in the champion Honour on my part,

Against your vain assault.

BERTRAM

Here, take my ring:

My house, mine honour, yea, my life, be thine,

And I'll be bid by thee.

DIANA

When midnight comes, knock at my chamber-window:

I'll order take my mother shall not hear.

Now will I charge you in the band of truth,

When you have conquer'd my yet maiden bed,

Remain there but an hour, nor speak to me:

My reasons are most strong, and you shall know them

When back again this ring shall be deliver'd:

And on your finger in the night I'll put

Another ring, that what in time proceeds

May token to the future our past deeds.

Adieu, till then, then, fail not. You have won

A wife of me, though there my hope be done.

BERTRAM

A heaven on earth I have won by wooing thee.

Exit

DIANA

For which live long to thank both heaven and me!

You may so in the end.

My mother told me just how he would woo,

As if she sat in 's heart, she says all men

Have the like oaths: he had sworn to marry me

When his wife's dead, therefore I'll lie with him

When I am buried. Since Frenchmen are so braid,

Marry that will, I live and die a maid:

Only in this disguise I think't no sin

To cozen him that would unjustly win.

Exit

SCENE III. The Florentine camp.

Enter the two French Lords and some two or three Soldiers

First Lord

You have not given him his mother's letter?

Second Lord

I have delivered it an hour since: there is

something in't that stings his nature, for on the

reading it he changed almost into another man.

First Lord

He has much worthy blame laid upon him for shaking

off so good a wife and so sweet a lady.

Second Lord

Especially he hath incurred the everlasting

displeasure of the king, who had even tuned his

bounty to sing happiness to him. I will tell you a

thing, but you shall let it dwell darkly with you.

First Lord

When you have spoken it, 'tis dead, and I am the

grave of it.

Second Lord

He hath perverted a young gentlewoman here in

Florence, of a most chaste renown, and this night he

fleshes his will in the spoil of her honour: he hath

given her his monumental ring, and thinks himself

made in the unchaste composition.

First Lord

Now, God delay our rebellion! as we are ourselves,

what things are we!

Second Lord

Merely our own traitors. And as in the common course

of all treasons, we still see them reveal

themselves, till they attain to their abhorred ends,

so he that in this action contrives against his own

nobility, in his proper stream o'erflows himself.

First Lord

Is it not meant damnable in us, to be trumpeters of

our unlawful intents? We shall not then have his

company to-night?

Second Lord

Not till after midnight, for he is dieted to his hour.

First Lord

That approaches apace, I would gladly have him see

his company anatomized, that he might take a measure

of his own judgments, wherein so curiously he had

set this counterfeit.

Second Lord

We will not meddle with him till he come, for his

presence must be the whip of the other.

First Lord

In the mean time, what hear you of these wars?

Second Lord

I hear there is an overture of peace.

First Lord

Nay, I assure you, a peace concluded.

Second Lord

What will Count Rousillon do then? will he travel

higher, or return again into France?

First Lord

I perceive, by this demand, you are not altogether

of his council.

Second Lord

Let it be forbid, sir, so should I be a great deal

of his act.

First Lord

Sir, his wife some two months since fled from his

house: her pretence is a pilgrimage to Saint Jaques

le Grand, which holy undertaking with most austere

sanctimony she accomplished, and, there residing the

tenderness of her nature became as a prey to her

grief, in fine, made a groan of her last breath, and

now she sings in heaven.

Second Lord

How is this justified?

First Lord

The stronger part of it by her own letters, which

makes her story true, even to the point of her

death: her death itself, which could not be her

office to say is come, was faithfully confirmed by

the rector of the place.

Second Lord

Hath the count all this intelligence?

First Lord

Ay, and the particular confirmations, point from

point, so to the full arming of the verity.

Second Lord

I am heartily sorry that he'll be glad of this.

First Lord

How mightily sometimes we make us comforts of our losses!

Second Lord

And how mightily some other times we drown our gain

in tears! The great dignity that his valour hath

here acquired for him shall at home be encountered

with a shame as ample.

First Lord

The web of our life is of a mingled yarn, good and

ill together: our virtues would be proud, if our

faults whipped them not, and our crimes would

despair, if they were not cherished by our virtues.

Enter a Messenger

How now! where's your master?

Servant

He met the duke in the street, sir, of whom he hath

taken a solemn leave: his lordship will next

morning for France. The duke hath offered him

letters of commendations to the king.

Second Lord

They shall be no more than needful there, if they

were more than they can commend.

First Lord

They cannot be too sweet for the king's tartness.

Here's his lordship now.

Enter BERTRAM

How now, my lord! is't not after midnight?

BERTRAM

I have to-night dispatched sixteen businesses, a

month's length a-piece, by an abstract of success:

I have congied with the duke, done my adieu with his

nearest, buried a wife, mourned for her, writ to my

lady mother I am returning, entertained my convoy,

and between these main parcels of dispatch effected

many nicer needs, the last was the greatest, but

that I have not ended yet.

Second Lord

If the business be of any difficulty, and this

morning your departure hence, it requires haste of

your lordship.

BERTRAM

I mean, the business is not ended, as fearing to

hear of it hereafter. But shall we have this

dialogue between the fool and the soldier? Come,

bring forth this counterfeit module, he has deceived

me, like a double-meaning prophesier.

Second Lord

Bring him forth: has sat i' the stocks all night,

poor gallant knave.

BERTRAM

No matter: his heels have deserved it, in usurping

his spurs so long. How does he carry himself?

Second Lord

I have told your lordship already, the stocks carry

him. But to answer you as you would be understood,

he weeps like a wench that had shed her milk: he

hath confessed himself to Morgan, whom he supposes

to be a friar, from the time of his remembrance to

this very instant disaster of his setting i' the

stocks: and what think you he hath confessed?

BERTRAM

Nothing of me, has a'?

Second Lord

His confession is taken, and it shall be read to his

face: if your lordship be in't, as I believe you

are, you must have the patience to hear it.

Enter PAROLLES guarded, and First Soldier

BERTRAM

A plague upon him! muffled! he can say nothing of

me: hush, hush!

First Lord

Hoodman comes! Portotartarosa

First Soldier

He calls for the tortures: what will you say

without 'em?

PAROLLES

I will confess what I know without constraint: if

ye pinch me like a pasty, I can say no more.

First Soldier

Bosko chimurcho.

First Lord

Boblibindo chicurmurco.

First Soldier

You are a merciful general. Our general bids you

answer to what I shall ask you out of a note.

PAROLLES

And truly, as I hope to live.

First Soldier

[Reads] 'First demand of him how many horse the

duke is strong.' What say you to that?

PAROLLES

Five or six thousand, but very weak and

unserviceable: the troops are all scattered, and

the commanders very poor rogues, upon my reputation

and credit and as I hope to live.

First Soldier

Shall I set down your answer so?

PAROLLES

Do: I'll take the sacrament on't, how and which way you will.

BERTRAM

All's one to him. What a past-saving slave is this!

First Lord

You're deceived, my lord: this is Monsieur

Parolles, the gallant militarist,--that was his own

phrase,--that had the whole theoric of war in the

knot of his scarf, and the practise in the chape of

his dagger.

Second Lord

I will never trust a man again for keeping his sword

clean. nor believe he can have every thing in him

by wearing his apparel neatly.

First Soldier

Well, that's set down.

PAROLLES

Five or six thousand horse, I said,-- I will say

true,--or thereabouts, set down, for I'll speak truth.

First Lord

He's very near the truth in this.

BERTRAM

But I con him no thanks for't, in the nature he

delivers it.

PAROLLES

Poor rogues, I pray you, say.

First Soldier

Well, that's set down.

PAROLLES

I humbly thank you, sir: a truth's a truth, the

rogues are marvellous poor.

First Soldier

[Reads] 'Demand of him, of what strength they are

a-foot.' What say you to that?

PAROLLES

By my troth, sir, if I were to live this present

hour, I will tell true. Let me see: Spurio, a

hundred and fifty, Sebastian, so many, Corambus, so

many, Jaques, so many, Guiltian, Cosmo, Lodowick,

and Gratii, two hundred and fifty each, mine own

company, Chitopher, Vaumond, Bentii, two hundred and

fifty each: so that the muster-file, rotten and

sound, upon my life, amounts not to fifteen thousand

poll, half of the which dare not shake snow from off

their cassocks, lest they shake themselves to pieces.

BERTRAM

What shall be done to him?

First Lord

Nothing, but let him have thanks. Demand of him my

condition, and what credit I have with the duke.

First Soldier

Well, that's set down.

Reads

'You shall demand of him, whether one Captain Dumain

be i' the camp, a Frenchman, what his reputation is

with the duke, what his valour, honesty, and

expertness in wars, or whether he thinks it were not

possible, with well-weighing sums of gold, to

corrupt him to revolt.' What say you to this? what

do you know of it?

PAROLLES

I beseech you, let me answer to the particular of

the inter'gatories: demand them singly.

First Soldier

Do you know this Captain Dumain?

PAROLLES

I know him: a' was a botcher's 'prentice in Paris,

from whence he was whipped for getting the shrieve's

fool with child,--a dumb innocent, that could not

say him nay.

BERTRAM

Nay, by your leave, hold your hands, though I know

his brains are forfeit to the next tile that falls.

First Soldier

Well, is this captain in the duke of Florence's camp?

PAROLLES

Upon my knowledge, he is, and lousy.

First Lord

Nay look not so upon me, we shall hear of your

lordship anon.

First Soldier

What is his reputation with the duke?

PAROLLES

The duke knows him for no other but a poor officer

of mine, and writ to me this other day to turn him

out o' the band: I think I have his letter in my pocket.

First Soldier

Marry, we'll search.

PAROLLES

In good sadness, I do not know, either it is there,

or it is upon a file with the duke's other letters

in my tent.

First Soldier

Here 'tis, here's a paper: shall I read it to you?

PAROLLES

I do not know if it be it or no.

BERTRAM

Our interpreter does it well.

First Lord

Excellently.

First Soldier

[Reads] 'Dian, the count's a fool, and full of gold,'--

PAROLLES

That is not the duke's letter, sir, that is an

advertisement to a proper maid in Florence, one

Diana, to take heed of the allurement of one Count

Rousillon, a foolish idle boy, but for all that very

ruttish: I pray you, sir, put it up again.

First Soldier

Nay, I'll read it first, by your favour.

PAROLLES

My meaning in't, I protest, was very honest in the

behalf of the maid, for I knew the young count to be

a dangerous and lascivious boy, who is a whale to

virginity and devours up all the fry it finds.

BERTRAM

Damnable both-sides rogue!

First Soldier

[Reads] 'When he swears oaths, bid him drop gold, and take it,

After he scores, he never pays the score:

Half won is match well made, match, and well make it,

He ne'er pays after-debts, take it before,

And say a soldier, Dian, told thee this,

Men are to mell with, boys are not to kiss:

For count of this, the count's a fool, I know it,

Who pays before, but not when he does owe it.

Thine, as he vowed to thee in thine ear,

PAROLLES.'

BERTRAM

He shall be whipped through the army with this rhyme

in's forehead.

Second Lord

This is your devoted friend, sir, the manifold

linguist and the armipotent soldier.

BERTRAM

I could endure any thing before but a cat, and now

he's a cat to me.

First Soldier

I perceive, sir, by the general's looks, we shall be

fain to hang you.

PAROLLES

My life, sir, in any case: not that I am afraid to

die, but that, my offences being many, I would

repent out the remainder of nature: let me live,

sir, in a dungeon, i' the stocks, or any where, so I may live.

First Soldier

We'll see what may be done, so you confess freely,

therefore, once more to this Captain Dumain: you

have answered to his reputation with the duke and to

his valour: what is his honesty?

PAROLLES

He will steal, sir, an egg out of a cloister: for

rapes and ravishments he parallels Nessus: he

professes not keeping of oaths, in breaking 'em he

is stronger than Hercules: he will lie, sir, with

such volubility, that you would think truth were a

fool: drunkenness is his best virtue, for he will

be swine-drunk, and in his sleep he does little

harm, save to his bed-clothes about him, but they

know his conditions and lay him in straw. I have but

little more to say, sir, of his honesty: he has

every thing that an honest man should not have, what

an honest man should have, he has nothing.

First Lord

I begin to love him for this.

BERTRAM

For this description of thine honesty? A pox upon

him for me, he's more and more a cat.

First Soldier

What say you to his expertness in war?

PAROLLES

Faith, sir, he has led the drum before the English

tragedians, to belie him, I will not, and more of

his soldiership I know not, except, in that country

he had the honour to be the officer at a place there

called Mile-end, to instruct for the doubling of

files: I would do the man what honour I can, but of

this I am not certain.

First Lord

He hath out-villained villany so far, that the

rarity redeems him.

BERTRAM

A pox on him, he's a cat still.

First Soldier

His qualities being at this poor price, I need not

to ask you if gold will corrupt him to revolt.

PAROLLES

Sir, for a quart d'ecu he will sell the fee-simple

of his salvation, the inheritance of it, and cut the

entail from all remainders, and a perpetual

succession for it perpetually.

First Soldier

What's his brother, the other Captain Dumain?

Second Lord

Why does be ask him of me?

First Soldier

What's he?

PAROLLES

E'en a crow o' the same nest, not altogether so

great as the first in goodness, but greater a great

deal in evil: he excels his brother for a coward,

yet his brother is reputed one of the best that is:

in a retreat he outruns any lackey, marry, in coming

on he has the cramp.

First Soldier

If your life be saved, will you undertake to betray

the Florentine?

PAROLLES

Ay, and the captain of his horse, Count Rousillon.

First Soldier

I'll whisper with the general, and know his pleasure.

PAROLLES

[Aside] I'll no more drumming, a plague of all

drums! Only to seem to deserve well, and to

beguile the supposition of that lascivious young boy

the count, have I run into this danger. Yet who

would have suspected an ambush where I was taken?

First Soldier

There is no remedy, sir, but you must die: the

general says, you that have so traitorously

discovered the secrets of your army and made such

pestiferous reports of men very nobly held, can

serve the world for no honest use, therefore you

must die. Come, headsman, off with his head.

PAROLLES

O Lord, sir, let me live, or let me see my death!

First Lord

That shall you, and take your leave of all your friends.

Unblinding him

So, look about you: know you any here?

BERTRAM

Good morrow, noble captain.

Second Lord

God bless you, Captain Parolles.

First Lord

God save you, noble captain.

Second Lord

Captain, what greeting will you to my Lord Lafeu?

I am for France.

First Lord

Good captain, will you give me a copy of the sonnet

you writ to Diana in behalf of the Count Rousillon?

an I were not a very coward, I'ld compel it of you:

but fare you well.

Exeunt BERTRAM and Lords

First Soldier

You are undone, captain, all but your scarf, that

has a knot on't yet

PAROLLES

Who cannot be crushed with a plot?

First Soldier

If you could find out a country where but women were

that had received so much shame, you might begin an

impudent nation. Fare ye well, sir, I am for France

too: we shall speak of you there.

Exit with Soldiers

PAROLLES

Yet am I thankful: if my heart were great,

'Twould burst at this. Captain I'll be no more,

But I will eat and drink, and sleep as soft

As captain shall: simply the thing I am

Shall make me live. Who knows himself a braggart,

Let him fear this, for it will come to pass

that every braggart shall be found an ass.

Rust, sword? cool, blushes! and, Parolles, live

Safest in shame! being fool'd, by foolery thrive!

There's place and means for every man alive.

I'll after them.

Exit

SCENE IV. Florence. The Widow's house.

Enter HELENA, Widow, and DIANA

HELENA

That you may well perceive I have not wrong'd you,

One of the greatest in the Christian world

Shall be my surety, 'fore whose throne 'tis needful,

Ere I can perfect mine intents, to kneel:

Time was, I did him a desired office,

Dear almost as his life, which gratitude

Through flinty Tartar's bosom would peep forth,

And answer, thanks: I duly am inform'd

His grace is at Marseilles, to which place

We have convenient convoy. You must know

I am supposed dead: the army breaking,

My husband hies him home, where, heaven aiding,

And by the leave of my good lord the king,

We'll be before our welcome.

Widow

Gentle madam,

You never had a servant to whose trust

Your business was more welcome.

HELENA

Nor you, mistress,

Ever a friend whose thoughts more truly labour

To recompense your love: doubt not but heaven

Hath brought me up to be your daughter's dower,

As it hath fated her to be my motive

And helper to a husband. But, O strange men!

That can such sweet use make of what they hate,

When saucy trusting of the cozen'd thoughts

Defiles the pitchy night: so lust doth play

With what it loathes for that which is away.

But more of this hereafter. You, Diana,

Under my poor instructions yet must suffer

Something in my behalf.

DIANA

Let death and honesty

Go with your impositions, I am yours

Upon your will to suffer.

HELENA

Yet, I pray you:

But with the word the time will bring on summer,

When briers shall have leaves as well as thorns,

And be as sweet as sharp. We must away,

Our wagon is prepared, and time revives us:

All's well that ends well, still the fine's the crown,

Whate'er the course, the end is the renown.

Exeunt

SCENE V. Rousillon. The COUNT's palace.

Enter COUNTESS, LAFEU, and Clown

LAFEU

No, no, no, your son was misled with a snipt-taffeta

fellow there, whose villanous saffron would have

made all the unbaked and doughy youth of a nation in

his colour: your daughter-in-law had been alive at

this hour, and your son here at home, more advanced

by the king than by that red-tailed humble-bee I speak of.

COUNTESS

I would I had not known him, it was the death of the

most virtuous gentlewoman that ever nature had

praise for creating. If she had partaken of my

flesh, and cost me the dearest groans of a mother, I

could not have owed her a more rooted love.

LAFEU

'Twas a good lady, 'twas a good lady: we may pick a

thousand salads ere we light on such another herb.

Clown

Indeed, sir, she was the sweet marjoram of the

salad, or rather, the herb of grace.

LAFEU

They are not herbs, you knave, they are nose-herbs.

Clown

I am no great Nebuchadnezzar, sir, I have not much

skill in grass.

LAFEU

Whether dost thou profess thyself, a knave or a fool?

Clown

A fool, sir, at a woman's service, and a knave at a man's.

LAFEU

Your distinction?

Clown

I would cozen the man of his wife and do his service.

LAFEU

So you were a knave at his service, indeed.

Clown

And I would give his wife my bauble, sir, to do her service.

LAFEU

I will subscribe for thee, thou art both knave and fool.

Clown

At your service.

LAFEU

No, no, no.

Clown

Why, sir, if I cannot serve you, I can serve as

great a prince as you are.

LAFEU

Who's that? a Frenchman?

Clown

Faith, sir, a' has an English name, but his fisnomy

is more hotter in France than there.

LAFEU

What prince is that?

Clown

The black prince, sir, alias, the prince of

darkness, alias, the devil.

LAFEU

Hold thee, there's my purse: I give thee not this

to suggest thee from thy master thou talkest of,

serve him still.

Clown

I am a woodland fellow, sir, that always loved a

great fire, and the master I speak of ever keeps a

good fire. But, sure, he is the prince of the

world, let his nobility remain in's court. I am for

the house with the narrow gate, which I take to be

too little for pomp to enter: some that humble

themselves may, but the many will be too chill and

tender, and they'll be for the flowery way that

leads to the broad gate and the great fire.

LAFEU

Go thy ways, I begin to be aweary of thee, and I

tell thee so before, because I would not fall out

with thee. Go thy ways: let my horses be well

looked to, without any tricks.

Clown

If I put any tricks upon 'em, sir, they shall be

jades' tricks, which are their own right by the law of nature.

Exit

LAFEU

A shrewd knave and an unhappy.

COUNTESS

So he is. My lord that's gone made himself much

sport out of him: by his authority he remains here,

which he thinks is a patent for his sauciness, and,

indeed, he has no pace, but runs where he will.

LAFEU

I like him well, 'tis not amiss. And I was about to

tell you, since I heard of the good lady's death and

that my lord your son was upon his return home, I

moved the king my master to speak in the behalf of

my daughter, which, in the minority of them both,

his majesty, out of a self-gracious remembrance, did

first propose: his highness hath promised me to do

it: and, to stop up the displeasure he hath

conceived against your son, there is no fitter

matter. How does your ladyship like it?

COUNTESS

With very much content, my lord, and I wish it

happily effected.

LAFEU

His highness comes post from Marseilles, of as able

body as when he numbered thirty: he will be here

to-morrow, or I am deceived by him that in such

intelligence hath seldom failed.

COUNTESS

It rejoices me, that I hope I shall see him ere I

die. I have letters that my son will be here

to-night: I shall beseech your lordship to remain

with me till they meet together.

LAFEU

Madam, I was thinking with what manners I might

safely be admitted.

COUNTESS

You need but plead your honourable privilege.

LAFEU

Lady, of that I have made a bold charter, but I

thank my God it holds yet.

Re-enter Clown

Clown

O madam, yonder's my lord your son with a patch of

velvet on's face: whether there be a scar under't

or no, the velvet knows, but 'tis a goodly patch of

velvet: his left cheek is a cheek of two pile and a

half, but his right cheek is worn bare.

LAFEU

A scar nobly got, or a noble scar, is a good livery

of honour, so belike is that.

Clown

But it is your carbonadoed face.

LAFEU

Let us go see your son, I pray you: I long to talk

with the young noble soldier.

Clown

Faith there's a dozen of 'em, with delicate fine

hats and most courteous feathers, which bow the head

and nod at every man.

Exeunt